So why do I?

I wonder, why do I love someone who is selfish, self centered, boastful, lying, foul mouthed, cheating, controlling, womanizing and  back stabbing? Why do I love someone who has taken me for granted, taken advantage of my loving, kindness, generous, forgiving nature?

I guess its because I have seen his softer side, and no, its not from Sears...lol...he has a softer side, a caring, loving side that comes out when he's protective of me. When I get sick or confronted with another ex. He didnt have much money and spent most of it on himself, but he did surprise me from time to time with thoughtful little gifts. His hugs were warm, his silliness always made me smile, even when I was angry with him. He had a way of getting me to be happy, to laugh. We had our adventures, and they were fun. Camping, skiing, stopping at the park benches for smooches at the zoo, taking our granddaughter to the movies, motorcycle rides through the canyon. His larger than life stories. They are all good memories. I wish we could make more...

From what I see now, I see him running, running away scared to hide from the problems he's created rather than face them. He can fix cars, he can fix anything...but he doesnt know how to fix himself. So he runs. He is running from me, he is running from his ex, he is running from his past, that he seems so eagerly to fall back into. But now I think its not his past, but the things and people that will help him escape from his problems. But he hasn't learned to stand up to them, to resolve them, so he runs, like a poor frightened child.

I love him, its that child inside of him I see, that Child of God I see. That is why I love him. If we are to be like God, to be Christlike, are we not to love all of God's children? I feel for him, he has lost a love that would have lasted forever. That love would have been mine.